Control the Controllables

Focus on what you can control. Don’t waste time and energy on things that you can’t control.

While the logic and common sense of this advice is self-evident, many people find it difficult to do. Nevertheless, it is an essential skill. What you focus on — what has your attention — is one of the most powerful things in your life.  It can be your greatest asset or your biggest liability.

Yes, stuff happens. Life is a non-stop flow of events, and inevitably some of those events are difficult and disruptive. However, that’s not the problem. The problem occurs when we focus on what we can’t control and react rather than respond. We worry. We complain. We defend. But that reaction is counter-productive. It accomplishes nothing other than wasting a lot of time and energy.

Part of the challenge is that disruptive events steal our attention. They are seductive. They pull us in. We tend to fixate on the obstacle (the event) more than we focus on how to overcome it (our response). We give our attention to what irritates us rather than to what action needs to be taken. We find it easier to worry and complain, rather than proactively search for a solution.

This is a trap.

No amount of worrying or complaining has ever solved a problem or achieved a goal. When we focus on what we cannot control, we take precious time and energy away from focusing on what we can control. When we do this, we disempower ourselves. It only perpetuates the problem, often making it worse.

Just because there are constraints and difficulties doesn’t mean you can’t take productive action. Unfortunately, many people find it easier to worry and complain than to do the work of finding and focusing on productive action. It’s easier to act like a victim than it is to take ownership.

Resist the temptation!

Here are two actions you can engage in right now to take ownership of your response and control the controllables in your life.

• Think of your attention, time, and energy as an investment (because it is). You are going to spend time focusing on something. The question is: what do you get in return for your time and effort? If you focus on something outside your control, your investment of time and energy will produce nothing of benefit to you. Zero return. On the other hand, if you focus on what you can influence, your investment of time and energy will pay off. Don’t let what you can’t do distract you from what you can do. Find the controllables and invest your time there. You will get a much better payoff.

• Ask yourself action-based questions: What is the best possible action I can take right now? What more can I do to achieve the results that I want? How can I improve this situation? There is always a solution-oriented response available to you. It is your job to find it and execute it. You can’t control the situation, but you can always control how you choose to respond.